Don't let me break
by Noevelle3
Summary: Rick still has anger left in him after all this time about what Kate has done to him during the summer of her shooting... WHAT WILL HAPPEN? lol My first try at this so give me a break... FINISHED btw! Tell me if I did atleast 'Okay' lol
1. Chapter 1

"Why does she always get to run away and make the decisions in this partnership? All I've ever wanted to do is make her happy, but when it comes to us, she never even thinks twice to what I want. Yeah I could have let on how I felt a little more but even if I had, I knew it wouldn't do any good, she's so damn stubborn sometimes. It gets me so aggravated because well…because she knows how I feel about her, I'm almost sure of it. The look on her face when I asked if she remembered anything from the shooting, said it all. She knew that I, that I.. she knew that I loved her! How do you just push someone away, after finding something like that out?

Why couldn't she just tell me 'Hey Rick I don't feel the same way'?

No she always had to do things the hard way, making me question her feelings for me. does she want to break my heart? Does she like the watch me in pain every single day? Every other minute just wanting to hug her, or hold her just for a split second, just embrace her for damn moment, just ONE moment! I could feel my heart ach every minute of everyday, I mean how much more can my heart take before it breaks completely.

Over the summer after the shooting I thought my heart was done for sure, taking in those three dreadful months alone at the precinct, at least till Gates kicked me out; waiting for her to just call me, the thing she said she would do after she was "ready" to talk to me. What was that all about anyway, I understand she was trying to get away from everything that was happening to her, but what good did it do if I wasn't around? She said she didn't remember the shooting so she had no reason to push me away, that's another reason I could tell she remembered, anytime I would bring up the subject about the shooting and if she recalled anything from it she would drop it like it was nothing and change the topic to something else. The way she quickly shifted her eyes away from mine, like she couldn't make eye contact when I asked. Something told me she was lying…"

As Rick sat in his office slouched leaning on his desk, his faces weight in his hands looking at his computer screen, reading over what he had just written down he began to erase everything, what was the use he thought to himself, he was too scared to actually ask Beckett if she was lying about remembering the tragedy or not. He was completely sucked into his own mind when a low humming sound came from the right of his desk, he looked at the electronic vibrating and picked it up answering "Castle".


	2. Chapter 2

"_Castle" _

Rick waited for a response when finally the detective on the other line started to speak.

"Hey" another short pause. "Do you have a minute?" She asked, he could tell she seemed nervous.

"Yeah. What's up?" he wondered if everything was alright.

Another pause, 'jeez she must have something important to say' Rick thought as he waited to hear her soft voice again. "Can I come over, I need to talk to you about something" he heard her take a deep breath as she continued "it's kind of important."

Castles mind went blank for a second trying to figure out what she wanted to talk about, he finally came back to his senses "Yeah you can come over now, is everything alright?" his voice sounded light but curious.

"Yeah, just something has.." she paused for a moment as she bit her bottom lip, finally continuing "just don't worry it's nothing bad, I'm fine, I'll be over in 10 minutes" she finally let out and quickly hung up before he could ask anymore questions.

Kate couldn't stop herself from being nervous; as she paced back and fourth in her warm apartment. 'I'm so sick of keeping this from him, he deserves to know the truth whether it hurts him or not.' She couldn't bring herself to walk out her front door though, still contemplating on if this was the right time for such a thing. She laughed at herself coldly 'there was never a "right time" to crush him' running her long fingers down her face as she shook her head. 'screw it I'm going over there, I already called him he already knows something's going on'.

Castle stood up right away once he heard the knock at his door. Finally 'she's here' he thought to him self while trying to fix a piece of hair that was out of place. He hesitated before opening the door beginning to get flustered of the idea that she might be taking a step closer to becoming his "always", who was he kidding she already was his always. He then swung the door open with a kid like smile on his face

"Hello Detective" he said a little too peachy. When he saw her face his smile dropped. "What's wrong?" he said while his eyes grew concerned.

'Kate keep it together' she yelled at herself, in her head of course. She couldn't help but to freeze up once she saw his adorable face. 'Crap. What the hell am I doing here' she questioned herself, she felt her body start to go on auto pilot as she turned around and strutted herself back to his elevator. Although she knew he would stop her, really no point in trying to run away this time.


	3. Chapter 3

She looked terrified when I finally opened the door, After I asked her if everything was alright she just turned around and started walking away. Before I realized she was almost at the elevator I caught my breath that I didn't even notice I was holding in and ran after her, what else was I suppose to do? The women I love comes for a surprise visit and just leaves before saying even a simple 'hello'? No not this time, I want answers and I want them now.

Grabbing Kate's arm before she could step into the elevator made her stop to a halt.

"Hey…" Rick stopped for a moment when she finally turned a to face him, her eyes full to the rim with clear liquid, finally a tear trickled down her cheek.

Her eyes fell to the floor, trying to look anywhere but his. Finally she felt his warm hand graze her chin to lift it just enough for him to see her tears. 'Crap Kate come on you're making yourself look weak, he is right in front of you and you're just crying like a baby' she began to grow angry at herself and backed away from his comforting touch.

Rick was so scared that if he said something she would run, but he was so concerned and curious he couldn't help himself. "Kate" he took a moment to look into her glossy eyes that had the most wonderful hazel green hint that made him melt, he started to speak again

"What's wrong? And don't say nothing because clearly something's up."

She could feel his eyes stuck on her, all she wanted to do was run but how could she after coming all the way down here, plus she already tried to flea the scene and that didn't work out very well, having his hand still slightly at hold of her arm. She looked down at his hand and he let go his face grew a little embarrassed. Kate closed her eyes for a moment to regain any strength that was still in her, to explain herself to the man she was standing before. She hesitated a minute after her eyes finally fell open. "Rick.." She choked on his name trying to push the lump in her throat down. She finally succeeded to at least get a sentence out of her " Rick, I…I.."

'Oh my god, is she about to tell me how she feels?' Rick thought to himself as his eyes opened up in awe for her.

But then the words that came out of her mouth made him stumble.

"Rick, I….I remember…everything." The shame in her voice couldn't be mistaken for anything else. She searched his face through her blurry eyes. 'Shit wipe your eyes' Kate quickly ran her fingers right under her eyes to scoop the liquid that was building in them. 'Rick please say something' she was yelling through her eyes, pleading him to make any indication that he was still in the hall with her alive, breathing.

She saw his welcoming aqua eyes turn to ice, his face complete stone. His jaw locked up, before she saw the fury through his ice cold eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Rick couldn't help the anger that grew inside him even though he was waiting for the day for this secret to come. He knew she knew, but still hearing it come out of her mouth with her eyes locked on his, tugged at his heart, hell more than tugged it felt like she stabbed him right there in the hall way.

'Christ why do I have to be in a lose for words, I didn't expect her to just come to me and say this, come on Rick do something.'

Castle stood there glaring at her with such anger he could see her shrink with fear before him. 'Good she deserves to be scared'. Finally he ran a stern hand through his hair, looked at her again and began to walk back to his loft.

What the hell is he doing? Running isn't his thing, it's my thing! Kate thought while she shockingly watched him make his way back to his apartment door. 'This would be a good time to go…' Kate thought to herself sheepishly, 'No, he deserves for me to fight for him like he _always_ has for me' Beckett blew out a little air and called his name "RICK!" 'crap that was a little louder than I thought, but than I realized I was angry, not at him of course, but at myself, and I couldn't hide it in my voice. He continued to open his door. She thought of the only thing that would at least make him stop, but she wasn't ready to just say that, at least now when she was angry like this so she said the next best thing.

"Richard Castle don't you dare walk away from me!" He stopped short, his fingers clenched on his door knob. 'Oh boy, not my best choice in words.' She thought to herself scared as hell to what would happen next.

Rick closed his eyes for a moment, breathing out furiously, his nostrils flaring. He dropped his hand from the door knob, and turned to face her.

"Oh that's funny YOU out of all people are telling ME not to walk away" He laughs sarcastically to himself loud enough for her to hear.

Kate's eyes flickered open in surprise at his words. Blood rushing to her face in anger.

"What the hell is THAT suppose to mean?"

Rick knew she knew exactly what that meant so he spoke his mind, finally.

"Oh don't pretend to be clueless Beckett" 'Ouch that hurt, he's using my last name' Kate thought looking at him growing uncertain to what he was to say next.

"You know EXACTLY what that's suppose to mean!" he snapped at her the anger growing in his eyes, his face, even his stance.

"You come and go as you please, never asking what I think about ANYTHING not even caring about MY feelings! You know how I feel about you Kate, Clearly, but you still do this to me, why?" His eyes searching hers trying to make her say something that will make this better.

Kate gathers her thoughts while looking all together dumbfounded.

Her mouth completely dropped, her eyes looking back and fourth from each of his eyes, she couldn't help the numbing tears racing down her face.

"Rick…" She drops her shoulders in defeat. "I… I never meant to hurt you..." another breath leaves her… She wants to just hug him but she knows that's not going to happen anytime soon, at least not until she fixes this terrible mess she's created. She try's her best to calm down but it's not working, she's so scared to lose him, one wrong word and she'll be stranded outside his loft in this cold harsh hall way. Before she can speak again he cuts her off.

"You know what Kate, I don't even feel like talking about this. I don't feel like dealing with another three months alone wondering if you're alright, I don't want to want you anymore knowing that you don't even…." he takes a breath " don't even care, because it hurts too much. The fact that you can't even see…" He stutters for a second trying to bring his words out. "You don't understand how much I…" He stops for a moment again but continues, " how much I love you." his eyes sink a little with sadness but the anger is still clear as day.

Kate's heart is thudding against her chest so hard, she's almost sure he can hear it from across the hall. She wants to smile at the last words to his sentence, but she's still in the heat of the moment.

"Rick how can you say that… How can you say I don't care?" She's starts to grow that lump in her throat again, she forces it down with the rage that is building inside her.

"How…How could you say I don't…that I don't understand! Rick I stayed away from you this summer so I wouldn't hurt you! Not because I didn't care, I always care when it comes to-"

Rick slits into her words like sharp blades "WHAT? When it comes to ME? I find that REALLY hard to believe Kate, because if I were in your shoes I would have at least given my the benefit of the doubt!"

Kate was confused at his words 'Benefit of the doubt? What the hell is talking about' She thought to herself before she could speak to ask he started up again.

"If you didn't feel the same you should have just told me instead of letting me linger in this damn agony of not knowing!"

Rick couldn't keep it in anymore he was like a cup overflowing it just kept spilling out. His body held so much fury he ended up slamming the door to his loft leaving them both in the hall way. Kate jumped at his sudden move. They just stared at each other before either one even thought about speaking.


	5. Chapter 5

Rick breaks the silence once more "You're so stubborn you know that!" Shouting it at her with his arms flailing in the air.

Kate bites back "Stubborn? Stubborn! Oh I'm sooo sorry Castle that this isn't what you planned for your little love story that you've always wanted!" Kate blurted out with some regret but kept on going the cat was already out of the bag

" Life isn't a fairy tail, so grow the hell up!"

Castles jaw tightened at her words, he clenched down so hard he was surprised he hadn't cracked his teeth. He doesn't even think, his mind in a fog of furry, he begins to storm over her way.

Kate watched as each step closer, made her grow more angry but scared all at the same time. She's never seen him this pissed, and knowing she could do this to him made her feel disappointed in herself.

He stops right in front of her so they're barely a foot apart.

"ME grow up? How about you!" He begins to mock her harshly "Oh I'm Kate Beckett too scared to be loved, let me go hide behind my stupid wall!"

Kate tried to fight the tears so they wouldn't come over her hurt face.

Castle could see he crushed her inside just by looking at her eyes, her face, he started to regret his careless words.

'Shit what's wrong with me, look at her she's falling apart right in front of me.'

Now all Castle wanted to do was make her feel better, scared he'd brought back all her walls that he's been trying to knock down for the past 3 and half years. His eyes dropped from anger to worry to fear within a second.

She just looked at him, all choked up not able to find the words to recover herself. The lump in her throat has finally won, she gave in and shed more tears than she's ever imagined. But she was still Beckett and still a bad ass cop who never really cried, so she whipped her face before he could do anything to even try and make her feel better. She straightened up and glared into his eyes, both of them couldn't hide all the emotion showing across their faces.

Kate makes sure he can see the hurt in her eyes and stays locked on him while speaking

"Rick.. This partnership…" She breaths in and looks dead at his face but he doesn't let her finish because he knows exactly what she is about to say and he wont let that happen, not again. So he butts in, the only thing left for him to do either kiss her with so much passion that they both forget about the fight or he can put his foot down in their relationship, yes _relationship_ not just a partnership anymore. He cuts her off before she can finish and speaks his heart.

"No this partnership is **not** over Kate" His eyes burning into hers with so much passion "because if this" he grabs her hand, "is over, it will be the end of me and I can't lose the only women who has ever made me fight for something, I wont go on another day knowing that you wont be safe, off doing something stupid that I can't get you out of, I wont be able to live my life the same, not being by your side" he squeezes her hand reassuring her that he is completely and one-hundred percent serious that this that they have is real. "not being your partner anymore Kate.. I.. I" He fumbles a little on his words "I couldn't do. And I **wont**, because I know deep down in your heart you feel the same." The anger has faded away from his face all that was left was love, and that's all that he needed. All he wanted to do now was to comfort this women, this women that he loves so deeply and would do anything for, just to keep a smile on her face.

'Why does he have to do this to me, why can't he be like all the other guys and just give up?' Kate thought to herself angrily. Oh yeah because he's _Castle_ not just some guy who she chose to date to get away from her feelings, no this was the **man **who she knew she loved even though she would never admit it to herself. And him with his eyes burning into hers making her feel like the most important thing in his world didn't help that she was completely in love with him, she even forgot if they were fighting or not, because the awe she fell into looking into those beautiful blue eyes that never failed to melt her heart, erased all of her anger, all she could do now was stare at him with this love that was raging out of her.

The love raging out of both of them.

_**Okay so I hope everyone likes this so far, I don't know what to do with it yet but I think you will enjoy it **__**J let me know in the review thing if I'm doing alright! Thanks 3**_


	6. Chapter 6

Kate was literally speechless what could she say after that? After him pretty much spilling his guts out, she wanted to run so badly but her heart was screaming at her to stay. His strong hands still holding hers tightly, she looked at him searching through his eyes what she can say, buying herself a little time she drops her stare; looking away from him.

'why do I always do that'

she questioned her own movement as much as he was with his own eyes.

'Why am I looking away from this wonderful, caring man?' she didn't know what to do, she so badly wanted to just kiss him senseless but she was still Beckett, whether she liked to admit it or not her was right, she is stubborn.

Rick doubted himself now worried she was just going to leave him, after he through his feelings out on the table for her. He was watching her closely trying to predict her next move, he never really knew with Kate though; that's what made her so extraordinary.

Beckett knocked herself back into defense mode.

"This is such a typical Richard Castle move, leaving the girl speechless so she doesn't know what to say." she spoke trying to make herself sound mad angry anything but weak. She began to ramble on though

"Yeah maybe I feel the same way, maybe I can't go a day with out you by my side, missing you every minute I'm not with you!" She's basically yelling but stops short furrowing her eye brows. She couldn't help but notice the little smirk sprinkled upon Rick's gentle lips.

It made her blush but grow annoyed

"Wipe that dumb grin off your face! I can't concentrate being angry with you when you're looking so damn…." She stops again though noticing him still smirking.

How can she be mad at this man that loved her so much, when the fight they were having was mainly her fault and he is glowing by the fact that she's admitted one thing to him, although she knew that admitting anything was such a big step for them. She couldn't help but love him even more, by his dopey smile that made her legs feel like jello.

'I'm done for' she thought to herself she felt so defeated.

Still tried to go on failing miserably.

"Great now you're getting me all flustered and I can't come up with the words I want to Yell at you! And now you're putting your hands on my face which by the way is sending this aggravating jolt of electricity down my spine that's giving me goose bumps and I don't appreciate you thinking you can just walk all over me and make me fall even more in love with you…" She shuts her mouth knowing she's said too much although too much was never enough, at least not with them. She finally looks straight into his eyes his smile dropped a little to more of a serious look. Love still in his eyes, so much love…

_**Okay I am So tired, SO I will do the next chapter tomorrow lol Enjoy little Caskett lovers enjoy! :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

Rick couldn't help but smile through her little cluster of words she was trying to get out, she was in words adorable; but then she said it, the thing he could only dream her to say; she told him that she was in love with him. Both of his hands still placed on each side of her warm cheeks. He could literally feel the heat rising up in her face, she was blushing because she realized what she'd said.

They both stared at each other mesmerized with so much love, Rick finally kicked himself back into play mode, realizing they've been stuck on pause for about 10 breathtaking seconds just staring into each others eyes, no not only eyes, souls. He noticed her eyes flicker, she was about to turn away from him. He wasn't letting her ruin this moment after her confession though.

Rick knew this was finally the moment he could lay his lips upon hers again. Before she could pull her face free away from his hands, he slid his right hand from her cheek to the back of her head grasping her thick brown locks into his hold guiding her face to come closer to him, finally forcing his lips to hers. Their lips stayed lightly on each others for a moment the electric feel pondering, until Kate placed her arms around his neck and parted her lips to deepen the kiss, making the spark turn into a full on forest fire.

Rick couldn't help himself he's wanted this, her in his arms kissing her, and her kissing him willingly for so long, and now that he's finally able to do so, he isn't holding back and to be fair, neither is she. He takes the hands that he had placed on her face and head and traveled them down to her curves till they stopped on her hips, pulling her against him.

Kate couldn't help the moan she let out into his mouth, the feeling of their bodies pushed together made her light headed but wanting more, so she held on for dear life and kissed him like she's always wanted to. She could feel her body being pushed against the hall way wall, hearing Rick let out a husky moan of his own. She couldn't help but get more turned on.

Rick was trying with all his might to hold back tearing her clothes off in the hallway, but how could he when he had this beautiful woman pinned up against the wall, feeling her left leg wrapping around his calf?

'Damn she is not holding back' Rick thought to himself, realizing how in the moment they were, 'I need to get her inside' He began to inch them toward his door. She followed his league letting her leg drop from behind his and pushing off away from the wall, though their lips haven't parted once, not even for air. She let him walk her backwards down the hall till they finally got to his door. He broke away from her lips, both of them panting and searched for the cold metal knob. Finding it at last he led her inside and Continued to kiss her, both of them stumbling through his apartment towards his bedroom like horny teenagers not letting go of each other through out the whole way there.

Once they reached inside his bedroom Rick didn't hesitate one minute, He pushed Kate up against his dark cherry painted dresser, hoisting her upon it letting her long legs wrap around his waist.

Kate played her tongue on with his roughly. Both of their body heat was radiating against each other, She moved her hands to his hair pulling it from his scalp just enough to make him let out another moan more intense then his first in the hallway, Kate smiled into their kiss satisfied by her work. She began to take her hands away from his silky hair and traveled them down his spine till she reached the bottom of his shirt, She started to lift it up tugging hard to get it off faster, Rick felt her movements and helped with the activity. After his shirt came off and Kate flung it across the room, he mimicked her idea and did the same with her shirt.

Kate could feel herself being lifted off the dresser, once she tangled her arms and legs around him again. Rick carefully carried Kate to his bed, when they finally reached it he turned to sit on the edge of the bed her legs still around his waist he couldn't fight the smile that tugged at his lips. Kate could feel him smiling over her own lips, she pulled back and looked at his face trying to catch her breath. They looked at each other smiling, breathing fiercely Kate let out a breath before speaking.

"Why are you smiling" Kate said looking at his lips. Rick looked at her eyes his smile growing.

"Why are you smiling?" He spoke back with an eyebrow raised. She let out a weak laugh, still trying to get enough air to breath back to normal, but how could she when she was wrapped around his waist, ready to give herself to him. Instead of answering his question or pointing out the fact that she asked first, she kissed him again. He felt the passion in her kiss and gave her all the passion back that was in his heart. They broke apart again their foreheads pressed against each others. Both of them smiling like fools.

Rick knew this was one of the happiest moments of his life, not because he was about to sleep with Katherine Beckett the women he's been trying to just kiss for the past four years, no, this was the happiest moment of his life because he knew all her walls were down, at least the ones that kept them from pursuing a relationship and he knew that she truly did love him and he couldn't help but just to smile at her beautiful face at that moment. His mouth then let out words that he's been afraid to say since captain Montgomery's funeral.

He took a deep breath and said "Kate, I love you." He closed his eyes before looking back into her greenish hazel pools scared of what she might do.

When his eyes finally settled on hers she was looking straight into his eyes, he could see the tears forming on the rims of her eyes, But also saw the smile that appeared on her face. He let out a breath of relief. 'Thank god she's not freaking out.'

The words that came out of her mouth next made Castles heart float to the heavens.

"Rick, I love you too."

Kate could see the relief, love, passion, and over all happiness that shined from Rick's eyes, she let out a laugh of joy and kissed him once more. Both Kate and Rick realized at that time that this was going to be one of the most mesmerized moments of their lives…

_**FIN **_

_**I hope you guyses enjoyed this, I didn't really know how to end it, so that's kind of why it ended kinda blahish I guess IDK XD I've never done one of these before, If you guys liked it though let me know I'm planning on writing more Fanfiction stuff! I'd like to have some feedback as to whether it was okay or not. THANK YOU AND ONCE AGAIN HOPE YOU ENJOYED!**_


End file.
